Day before surgery ———- 4 years later

The butt dart this month was #50 [great April Fool’s joke]. Every 4 weeks…

This week is 4 years since surgery & my official diagnosis. Likely already there for 5+ years at that time…

Tired of the stress – tired of fitting in multiple medical appointments into an already busy schedule
Tired of the worry – tired of guessing what that new pain means
Tired of the fear – tired of knowing difficult decisions will be in my future
Tired of the fatigue – tired of the physical tolls treatment and tumor hormone shifts are causing
Tired of the added necessities to a daily routine – tired of managing multiple medications just to name 1
Tired of the swollen eyes and runny nose – tired of seeking secret/safe places to break down

This was not my expected aging process. 4 years down – planning for many more – but I am TIRED.

Side note: I almost always listen to music when I write, mood music… tonight the below song was playing while I worked on this post

Zero 7 : Simple Things from the Likufanele album – a spoken part of the song…
We get up in the morning, feelin’ tired
Sometimes we feel good, sometimes we feel bad
But we gonna do it with feelin’
From the root to the fruit, that’s where everything starts
What you say to you?
Don’t stop
Don’t stop

Tired… but I won’t stop