WAIT!! – I’m not ready yet!

There is way too much change going on right now at home, in my extended family and now at work. None of it is necessarily negative but it’s more than my brain can handle at one time.

I totally planned to coast at work for the next couple years and then skedaddle. I love teaching – hate grading – and was comfy just maintaining the status quo. Then change happened. I agreed to take on a new position in addition to teaching. My teaching load has been reduced, my other duties as assigned are much more now. It’s not completely unfamiliar territory but as I dive into the details I feel I’m in way over my head — my head is not where it used to be. My brain feels slow and mushy which I attribute to all the physical and mental effects of the f****** cancer.

I have help, I have a mentor. We have been working together in our program for over 13 years. But I feel alone in this change because they are also learning a new position. I am very familiar with the frustration of someone having to do two jobs because no one was hired behind them to fill a past position. So I hesitate in wanting to ask questions or take up their time, but I don’t have the brain power to learn this on my own, but I don’t want to be a bother, but much of the new job makes no sense right now, but they don’t have time to do two jobs…

A concept I discuss in one of my courses is the Peter Principle (not my husband) – as people are promoted they rise to the level of incompetence – my fear is I hit this mark. If I did and I fail – it’s not just my job, but this new responsibility affects so many others. I’m just hoping my brain can step up and work correctly. This is going to be a bumpy ride!