One hand or the other?

Retirement planning – we recently met with a rep from our retirement plan company. One question asked – what age do you plan to retire? That’s a weird concept to begin with. All our discussion was around the age we picked and what we would have based on current account amounts – & – what more do we need to do to have enough. On one hand I need to plan for existing past retirement… on the other hand will my efforts be wasted and will I miss out on using the money now? Either hand seems like a gamble.

Thyroid tests – I had a discussion with my PCP about current weight gain. She ordered a retest of my thyroid hormone levels which hadn’t been checked in a while. On one hand my levels could be off and I’d need a medication adjustment… on the other hand it’s age, metabolism, snacking issue. Either hand requires more changes.

Medication side effects – my treatment involves the butt dart I’ve mentioned before – every 4 weeks & I have to keep track of which side is next. I literally have R & L noted in my medical calendar – a completely separate calendar for all my doctor appointments. On one hand – the medication keeps the tumors from being active and reducing the risk of further growth or metastasis… on the other hand it causes issues like diabetes to develop – I am now early pre-diabetic. The medication to reduce the risk for the breast cancer recurrence caused osteopenia to develop. Either hand has medical ramifications.

Random pains – especially in the abdominal area, keep me guessing. On one hand – is it something I ate not agreeing with me, gas, a sore muscle… on the other hand is it a tumor acting up, growing or newly formed? Either hand has me on edge all the time.

These hands will likely – eventually – force me to choose between continuing or trying a new treatment vs. quality of life.