In a Spiral – by Phantogram
I can see the end is coming ’round
Every day, every day, in a spiral
Better help me now, I’m going down
Every day, every day, in a spiral

Currently this is one of my favorite songs. I liked it before I paid attention to the lyrics. Then the more I listened, the more it resonated with me. Part of the song description by the band: “..inspired by the ancient symbol of the Ouroboros, a serpent eating its own tail” describing the connection between social media and life. It has a different meaning for me.

I often feel like I am fighting a spiral, trying not to let myself get below the surface. I’m able to recognize this starting sooner than I used to. But once it starts… it takes all I have to keep myself from letting things get dark. I’m learning the triggers, trying to figure out ways to avoid them or get myself back up. The spirals make me tired.

Land of the Lost – a short lived tv series in the mid-70s but one of my husband’s favorites. I never paid attention to it back then but I’ve seen a bunch of episodes as he re-watches them now. The intro has the dad & kids being sucked down a whirlpool in their raft & ending up in the Land of the Lost – dinosaurs and all.

I feel like I’m in my own land of the lost – no dinosaurs here – but things are very different than they were before. I keep trying to get back to who I used to be, where I expected to be at this point. It’s not possible, I have to adapt to this new place instead. But I’m not sure how. The spirals keep me very busy.