A while back, on a walk home from work, I was asked what I was thinking about. My usual answer is ‘nothing’ because I either can’t remember exactly or don’t know how to explain my thoughts. I provided the usual reply, but at that moment I was actually looking at the sidewalk and thinking “same, sidewalk, same”. The sidewalk was cracked, missing pieces, yet still functioning as it’s expected to do.

It’s just a section of sidewalk between campus and home. No one notices the issues, or may not even see them as needing attention. I suspect this won’t be changed until it causes a problem for someone and gets noticed.

My missing pieces are not visible, not easily put into words. They affect me almost daily but I speak very little of them to others. I don’t know where to start with descriptions. Physically they are minor inconveniences in the ‘grand scheme’ but cause mental pieces to come loose and swirl inside my head constantly. The continuous anxiety leads to overreacting to super tiny or weird issues a normal person would probably not notice. And I can’t explain the reactions either.

BYF – I’m just functioning as expected until I can’t… “trying” not to cause problems or be noticed.