Tired of being different ~~ I want to be a normal aging person with normal aging issues.

Tired of being unique ~~ My retinal specialist called me unique at my recent visit, when asking how I was doing. She even joked about no one wanting to be unique in medical visits. Luckily for her visit everything was normal, except both eyes being dilated for most of the day.

Tired of the daily reminders ~~ Weeks like this have more of these reminders. Starting with funky eyes this morning & needing to be driven around because of the brightness outside. This routine followup for freckles on my left retina, checking for changes, just another weird thing in my body needing monitoring. And then I had the pleasure of drinking barium for a CT scan in the middle of class – big ICK! Ending my day with the scan and not eating dinner until late. Later this week there is a cardiologist visit and the monthly routine bloodwork.

Tired of having to re-explain medical status, medication use, and recent treatment plans ~~ Every care provider besides my oncologist asks me tell them how the cancer was found, what the treatment is, what medications I take now (all 3 gazillion of them). Most have never heard of Neuroendocrine tumors, or Octreotide, or know anything about the Lutathera (PRRT) radiation I had. Most don’t know if my medications affect whatever it is I am seeing them for. I spend a lot of time explaining how they work as best I can.

Tired of so many appointments ~~ I have 10 different medical specialists, 5 different patient portals and way too many visits to keep track of. I have to keep everything in a separate spiral-bound calendar – as my backup to the family calendar online. As much as I tell people to speak up if something isn’t right, this keeps me from bringing up any new issues. I don’t want to deal with more stuff.

So tired ~~