My struggle to keep up feels overwhelming a lot now. The usual work:life balance is harder to manage with the life side needing so much more attention. I’ve never been the best at time management, especially for work things. This semester I amy trying to stay ahead of things for work… just in case. But I find myself having a harder time staying focused enough to get work completed. I’m even having an issue just getting these thoughts out now.

In the life side of the balance, I still need to do the usual stuff (e.g. exercise, eat, shower, laundry, yard work, dog walks….) But this cancer has forced me to add keeping up with multiple medical appointments in my spare time. I now have 4 different portals from providers to manage. I get oodles of texts about upcoming my appointments. Just from the lab for my monthly blood draw I get 4 separate texts when I schedule a time to come in. Why 4? Then there are the emails with notifications about updates to a portal. And the bazillion pre-check emails or texts for each visit to make sure I don’t have covid symptoms.

In the next 3 months I have 2 screenings, 3 medical provider appointments and 2 shots in my already in my calendar. What has yet to be scheduled are at least 2 shots and another visit with the oncologist to review one of the screenings. Oh and there is a dentist visit in the mix I forgot about. AND also the paperwork or online forms – This is what kept me dragging my foot in the search for a NET specialist. I didn’t want to deal with the paperwork and scheduling yet another appointment with yet another doctor.

There are frequent deer visits in the woods behind our house. With the leaves coming off the trees, I can see them more easily. Recently there was a lone deer with a gimpy back leg. My first thought – call the vet – [then she realized she wasn’t at the zoo and no vet to help]. My next thought was how much I felt like the deer. Physically I’m not 100%, I have issues now and likely potential issues at some point in the future. The deer has no choice, deal with the leg as best she can until she can’t. She just made her way through the woods. She can choose the direction to walk but still has to deal with the leg. I don’t get a choice either. I will likely have options with what direction to take the treatment. But like her I just keep trying to keep up.

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